Sunday, September 28, 2003

My government is double cheating me... again.

In the US the RIAA is now prosecuting Everyone AND their grandmother for music theft. There are a lot of cases pending. First funny thing. How did they find out who was sneaking away with the music. Sounds to me like what they did was HACK THE MOST POPULAR PROGRAM for these types of file transfers. With the HACKED PROGRAM they trolled for thieves, and collected data. They went to court with the suspect data and had some computers seized. The fines for this can be HUGE. And for each instance too. Now the creators of the HACKED PROGRAM are suing the RIAA for copyright infringement.

Here's the part where the irony gets so thick you can stand a spoon up in it. It's okay to copy the songs if you're in CANADA. They ALMOST said it on the news the other night while reporting the story.

"It's still illegal to copy programs and films." was the last line of the story.

And why only here? THE BLANK MEDIA TAX. Looks like that was a good thing after all! I mean I paid for the right to copy didn't I? That money was supposed to go to guys like me. None of us will see any of it, will we?

Funny all this huh? What are we to do? The recording industry is haemorrhaging money. And why is that? It's because they've been haemorrhaging TALENT and CREATIVITY for longer. The people that actually have to MAKE the music are very tired of being ripped off.

There is evermore kids drawn to fame;

"It's all about getting the music out there".

You are going to be bitter as hell if you make it to being old. Nobody gives a fuck about you unless you represent something they can cash in on. So the truly independent go INDEPENDENT. By pass the executives, and keep WAY MORE MONEY. Sure, they don't sell as many records, but they don't HAVE too

There is also much more to do and spend money on now. Music is not as relevant to todays kids. We heard "Four Dead In Ohio" a week after Kent State, and what do they get? "It's getting hot in here". No wonder. Maybe the record industry is dying because they put out a few too many LOUSY RECORDS.

It's always been embarrassing to be a musician. An interesting new friend said it all on the phone today.

"We should all move to California and run for Governor."

It's all fucked.

And now, I think I'll go cry. I'm still so upset about the untimely death of Bennifer. I've just got to be strong.

PS. Tonight why don't you give your intellectual property a big hug. Just for no reason at all.

Wednesday, September 24, 2003

Shooters. Yep shooters. Sticky sweet boozy shooters, not the cap-in-yer-ass kind. But in some ways they do seem to cap some ass after all. It must be the sugar, but the high is real fuzzy. It's all on video, but I think we mailed it somewhere. I hope it wasn't to the CBC, they probably think I'm weird enough already.

It's fall today, and the leaves turned on this huge vine thing we've got in the backyard. I brought our one and only "huge" dope plant inside. It's about six inches high and was grown for a special reason. It will star in an upcoming episode of "Super Jeffie". I mean, it's kind of okay now, isn't it? I started when Pierre said it was alright to do so.

So what's new? Well a few things. I'm drinking cold vodka out of a small glass and it's working. Jeeze, why have I been puting fruit juce in this shit for so many years? Maybe this is why it's taken so long to bloom as an alcoholic. Oh oh... having trouble now getting the top back on the bottle. Time to fire up the MSM and see if there is anyone to bug.

Nope... Sometimes I wonder if they can tell how drunk I am. In real life you can't proof read what you are shouting at some cute young thing at the bar.

"I've never tried Viagra" you say as your inner voice tells you you're a complete idiot for the 400th time.

At least you have that one moment to change your mind before sending your phone number to some she-male named "Brandy" in Carolina.

I'm going to miss Johny Cash, and the Maytag guy. Ritter too, I suppose, although I thought he never had the right vehicle. I mean Three's Company... Jeeze. Ever see the original French one? More like "Fluffy Towels" than "Married with Children", if you know what I mean. I did however appreciate his involvement in "Noises Off", a wonderful play within a play within a movie that speaks to me in a way few farces do. Denholm Elliot is brilliant in it too. Get this one, or watch it on TV next time you see it in the guide. It's one of my faves.

Stepped over the line now between fun-time and drunk-time. Spelling may suffer, if it hasn't already. Am refusing spell check on principal. Fucking hard. Never could spell. A writer dosn't have to be able to do that does he?

You know that hunger you get when you're hammered? I do.

I figure I've got about ten minutes to solve the worlds problems before I melt into an un-typing puddle of goo. Where do you start with something like that? I can't solve my own problems. Fuck the world. And you too, I suppose.

On movie chanel:

"Gray Area". Why is it they use opera music in the Nazi killing-camp movies? That poor soprano. What would the composer think? Oh ya, he didn't like them did he. But all the footage with the back of heads exploding was not the picture any of the artists involved had in mind when they were creating that music. I'm sure of it. Opera and brutal insane horror. Good mix.

That's it I'm going to go eat now.

Thursday, September 18, 2003 is another new filth and perversion site. Looks about as dumb as the rest of 'em.

Today in history;

Sept. 18, 1759.

Quebec formally
surrendered to the
British after the
French defeat at the
Battle of the Plains
of Abraham.

HA HA HA ..........HO HO HE HE HA......... fuck... that's a good one, eh? If only.

So this guy calls his buddy, a horse rancher, and says he's sending a friend over to look at a horse.

His buddy asks "How will I recognize him?"

"That's easy; he's a midget with a speech impediment."

So, the midget shows up, and the guy asks him if he's looking for a male or female horse.

"A female horth".

So he shows him a prized filly.

"Nith lookin' horth............can I thee her eyeth"?

So the guy picks up the midget and gives the horse's eyes the once over.........

"Nith eyeth...........can I thee her earzth"?

So he picks the little fella up again and shows him the horse's ears.

"Nith earzth.........can I thee her teef "?

The rancher is gettin' pretty pissed by this point, but he picks him up again and shows him the horse's teeth.

"Nith teef...........can I thee her twat"?

Totally choked at this point, the rancher grabs him by his coat, and rams the midget's head as far as he can up the horse's vagina, yanks him out and slams him on the ground.
The midget gets up, sputtering and coughing.

"Perhapth I should rephrathe that: Can I thee her wun awound a widdlebit"?


Saturday, September 13, 2003

Another long day. Finished late. Now "Saving Private Viagra" is on the CBC. Now, I donít think thatís the name of it, but I lose track of whatís going on because of the endless ads. One minute itís heads being blown off the next itís aspirin for tennis aches and pains.

I was down the street at the coffee store this morning. None in the house, you seeÖ anyhoo, I was walking in and there was this little old lady with a walker. She was all stooped over and very frail looking. She walked right into the table and chairs next to the door, and kept pushing at some poor womanís chair with her walking aid. I guess she was wondering why the door wasn't opening. There are days that I would have helped her inside, but today wasnít going to be one of them I suppose. Besides, I was inside already so I left it to the ladies sitting at the table.

I ordered a regular old coffee, not one of those $4 kind, and so was creaming and sugaring as the old lady made it inside. The place you do the stirring etc is in the center of the store. She toddles up on the other side of the bar and orders a coffee from me.

"The coffee is over there, dear." I said.

I had to move a chair or two and then stop her from walking right out again . I finally lead her to the counter, and quickly left. I wondered how she would do with a hot drink in her hand, not to mention how she would find her way home. Now Iím $2 short for smokes tomorrow, and half that coffee is still sitting here on my desk 12 hours later. I bet I'll be heating it up in the morning.

Just why the fuck did I go in there? Maybe I needed to feel guilty. Why canít I feel rich for a while instead?

Friday, September 12, 2003

A Link to keep you busy 'till I think of something to say.


Thursday, September 11, 2003

9/11 again. I watched a made for TV movie this evening that recalled the events of two years ago. I remember getting a phone call from Jason. He was busy down at the studio editing door slams for the movies. Only that morning was different. All work had stopped and all eyes were on the news. I was still in bed (hey, I work late, okay?) so like a lot of us here in the west, I woke to images of airplanes smacking into buildings. Buildings I felt I knew. That day, like tonightís movie, seemed like one of those Charlton Heston films from when I was a kid.

Jason came to my house after that and we just sat and watched the day unfold on the TV. We saw the planes, again and again. The buildings fell a hundred times. We saw the pentagon on fire. We wondered where the president was. We wondered what was next.

Today it feels in the past, yes, but so does the rest of my life. Things changed that day, and in the two years following. On 9/11 I heard of a group at a local gym that cheered as the planes crashed. Today I heard a group in England praise the magnificent 19. This is going to be with us a long time.

How do we keep from thinking that weíre like one of those chicks in the movies that run around locking the glass doors when the monster is trying to get into the house? Like heís RIGHT THERE ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE GLASS - BETTER SPEND SOME TIME LOCKING THE DOOR! So for my part, Iím going to try to make a whole bunch of money, so I can build a bunker up north somewhere all ready for the end time. That way Iíll last another couple of weeks longer than you lame ass fucks.

And the real winner so far in all of this? BIO TECH. Billions are being thrown at creating antitoxins and antidotes right now. We are building new animals, and harvesting their parts. Amazing things are being discovered. There is work again for us biology types. Maybe weíll find things that work only on certain ethnic types. Like drugs that only protect middle aged white guys. Heh heh.

AnyhooÖ all this does finally seem to belong to the past now. Two years. Thatís not very long, is it? Sleep well.

Saturday, September 06, 2003

Stop me from laughing. If it's still there, check out "Dr Laura suggested young girl be sacrificed". The world is going crazy.

Thursday, September 04, 2003

Well, it still feels like summer here, but we all know that winter is coming. The kids are back at school, and the adults are working off that last bag of "those little doughnuts" from the PNE. I look forward to winter each year as it seems the only time I can get things done. Summer is a good "concept" time , but a lousy "follow through" time.

Perhaps Iím not nasty enough in the summer. Even if Iím poor and have all branches of the government on my ass, Iím still basically pretty happy. No... wait a minute. Thinking of all that shit I still have to do is pissing me off.

Canadaís Gun Control Program: Keeping Firearms Out of the Wrong Hands.

As long as youíre nowhere near any bad people. So donít go to a nightclub, or a theatre, or a restaurant, or the street, or...

Now I hear that a quite possibly huge number of guns are registered incorrectly. Ruger is the largest firearms manufacturer in America. They make guns in every class; rifles, shotguns, pistols, and revolvers.

Now hereís the deal; the guns have serial numbers like this:

12-34567 or


You can see the difference, right? Okay, so the governmentís new BILLION DOLLAR computer, canít handle the dash, or a space in the serial number. They removed such items TO SAVE MEMORY. (I wonder if they would be interested in my old Mac classic. It sounds like it would be a better platform than whatever it is that those guys are using.)

And thatís just a problem with the guns that were REGISTERED. Holy fuck, I donít want my name anywhere that list. Mistakes will be made when the police come looking for the wrong weapons, and we all know judicial mistakes can be a "get out of jail free" card for criminals with good lawyers. There couldnít possibly be anyone left out there that believes that this is still going to work. A BILLION dollars, and still counting.

If weíre worried about saving lives here, lets get serious and spend some money on decent medical care. There are so few shooting deaths in a year in Canada, and most of them criminals themselves, that youíd think we should leave well enough alone. One of the worldís better medical systems went into a tailspin this summer because of the WEATHER. Over 11,000 people died of heat related illness in France alone. If something like that was to happen here (can you say SARS?) we might finally be forced to dismember some of the more moronic programs we have, and spend the money where it is really needed.

Wednesday, September 03, 2003


Tuesday, September 02, 2003

So busy, I am again feeling as though I could rip my own head clean off. I need a laptop. And some money. A few more hours in a day wouldn't hurt either. AAAAAAAAkkkkk. It's tuesday.