I'm filling the jeep at the gas station tonight, and these three guys that look like trouble walk past the pumps. J gets back from the bank machine and says they walked across the street against a red and interupted traffic.

Just then a truck drives by with what sounds like a giant huge beast in the back, barking it's ass off at the punks. The "really smart" one yells out "Take your dog home!". Some people are just annoying.

I'm thinking "what an asshole" about the same time J is and we look at each other. Big truck guy turns the corner and stops in front of the punks at the edge of the sidewalk. They walk up all tough.

The cop inside rolls down his window and says in a commanding tone "I've got my eyes on you guys... I'm watching you. Get moving."

How do you like that ... a cop when you need one. How often does that happen?


When is a website not a website?

Last night I was up at the Centenial Theatre to see Buddywasisname and the Other Fellers. You see, my famliy comes from Newfoundland. Well... came from there a long long time ago. One of them was the mayor of St. John's before that province joined Canada... another was a "father of confederation". I am a tenth generation Canadian with ties to the east, and this is what's bothering me today.

Now don't get me wrong here, I love this group. They play (sort of) traditional music from their culture. They tell jokes (really old ones), stories and anecdotes that have that eastern Canadian flavour. Let's call them sort of newfie Rolf Harris's. It's all good. But you know what? It's a schtick... and that's okay, but they piss me off a bit.

I would have loved to do what they are doing.. traveling around bringing my world to yours. But what am I to do? We have no "western" culture here. From what I see, our local culture could be opera from China or ___ (fill in the blank with another expropriated culture)___ . Nobody is going to think my accent is "cute" or remotely funny. I sound like Dan Rather. Hardly quirky. The only "local" accent around here is the Squamish Nation guys, and most of them sound just like me. It's not a great accent to "pretend" anyhow. People just think you're a racist.

So when I see these guys getting laughs at what is basicaly a "funny voice" it irks me a little. Comedy is WAY HARDER than that for me, and I envy them. I envy their accents. I envy their music. I envy their name. I mean, what would you call a band from the west? The Salmonoids? Mostly I envy them 'cause they're so GOD DAMMED FUNNY, and they make it look so easy.

There is a new CD coming out with just the talkie bits on. I bet they'll sell a lot of them. They must have ten CDs out now, and the house was very nearly sold out last night. They're probably making a living at this.

I'll be there in 18 months when they return, laughing my ass off again.

Okay, it's October now. This art stuff is starting to get to me. I have the feeling that it has gotten to everyone around me long ago. There was a tree rat drowning, a saving of another, a garrage sale, several 40th birthday parties, and a 30th. I am SUCH an asshole.

What should I do to waste my day? I think I'll visit wesbay.ca. (Wes Bay - Soiling minds since the 20th century.)