Tuesday, June 17, 2003


So this morning, like every day, Iím checking the mail (101 days-see below). I look out the front door window, and thereís a guy sitting on a rock in my garden wearing only a pair of black boxers. Iím figuring it might be the guy who has been breaking into houses in the neighborhood casing my place. (I didnít even think about what he had onÖ ) Iím kind of hiding inside watchingÖ hoping heíll try to break in. Iím thinking Iíll let him get three quarters of the way in the window before I hit him with my baseball bat.

Then I notice heís smoking a joint. Now Iím not intending any sort of an east side ñ west side debate here, but where I live youíre just not used to strangers smoking pot in your yard. Itís usually your friends. So just when Iím thinking this is a little odd, the guy taps out the reefer, stands up and starts pissing on this big holly tree right in my front yard. There were cars being parked out on the street just a few feet away. What the fuck? I was so stunned I didnít even open the door to scare him off. He never once turned around to see if there was anyone in the house who might ofÖ oh I donít knowÖ OWNED the tree he was pissing on. Then ñ get this ñ the guy walks around the hedge and goes into the four-plex next door. This creep is my fucking neighbor.

If I wanted to see this kind of shit from my front door at noon I could pay a lot less for it.

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