My eyes are working again, and I have regained partial use of my fingers. I feel I must attempt to describe yesterday as best as I can as the memories are sketchy and fading fast. So this is the story as I remember it.

Iím a bit of a night owl, so most of my days start with the sun already over the yardarm. Yesterday was typical in that respect. I rolled out of bed about 11:00am had a few coffees and a couple of smokes for breakfast. (I find this to be a great way to keep my girlish figure without starving myself.) For a few moments I tried to play the guitar, but was having one of those days where everything was coming out all so uninspired sounding. It was probably because of yesterdays recording session. Sometimes I feel that certain "artists" can actually lower your musical IQ just by listening to them. I was saved from my musical agony by a phone call.

I was expecting a visit from a friend and this was the "save me from walking up the hill" call. Drinks were decided upon on the way home. My friend has also learned the benefits of vodka and cranberry juice from a mutual hero. (Thanks Mr. T, and if you ever pull a gun on me again, Iíll collapse one of your knees, you freak.) Soon we were sipping crantinis on the comfy old swing in the backyard. It was a beautiful day.

A must apologise to my friend here, I had intended to find out more about him and his interests, as I find him a knowledgeable and personable sort, but Iím afraid I spent most of the time bitching about the common interest that brought us together. I think weíre both "grab it and go" type guys and not "Lets all sit around and discuss it like a bunch of old ladies at bridge club" type executives... I mean "guys".

Anyhoo... Those wee drinks sort of slip down pretty fast when youíre in mid bitchfest, and soon we were out of juice, vodka and time. My friend had promised his brother a night of debauchery on the town, and I think I sent him of with a good start. I was feeling pretty darn good for three oíclock in the afternoon when J got home from work.

Of course, J being a much better party animal than me, insisted upon replenishing the bar immediately. We made it so, and in the process had to walk by Yabooís TCOTC twice with stuff we were obviously buying, apologising for not having any cash for him. That guy really is a C. The next few hours were spent in a similar fashion, all drinking, swinging and bitching. Actually, it was only me bitching. I think J was just trying to have a drink and relax. I remember going over to the neighbours house for a little socialising and a few drinks, and to the other neighbours house for a little socialising and a few drinks. I remember being too drunk to safely handle household appliances, which meant a dinner out.

As always, thereís a point in an evening like this where everything goes pear-shaped, only this time Iím not entirely sure when that was. It could have been when we decided to go to the bar for dinner. I think I had chicken, but there was also drinks,a sandwich and a woman a few chairs away that would not stop talking. Her speech was mesmerising. Not bad looking, with her ass all falling out of those short waisted pants. Yes, thatís it... thatís the last clear memory I have before it all went weird.

I sort of remember being at some kind of a legion, complete with old guys and a band. I remember because they made is sign in and promise to behave. I donít think anyone besides my mother has asked me to promise to behave. They should do that at the nightclubs downtown.

I remember the bass player in the band. He was continuing the thread of musical ineptitude that began the day. The poor other band guys. Even from my "remote viewing" standpoint, you could tell this guy was playing with one musical brain tied behind his back. The other guys were pretty good and this guy didnít have a clue. The rest is a complete blur except for the phrase " they all look the same to me". Iím not sure who said it , but it sounded a bit like my voice.

Anyhoo... I guess everything is all right with the world today, as I woke up next to J in my own bed and thereís coffee and cigarettes in the house. I wonder if my friend made it through the night.